I Don't Need it
This was an event in MAL history that took place from December 22nd 2013 to Feburary 7th 2014. It marked the second event of it's kind, proceeding MAL No Fap Contest. (V1) It brought together some of MAL's finest masochists and perverts in a competition to see who would be the last to fap (A staggering 62 contestants!). The rules were quite simple and easy to follow, though there was much speculation on who was possibly lying. There were also achievements awarded to those who weren't complete masochists. It was hosted by none other than the previous champion of MAL No Fap Contest (V1) JizzyHitler or NotJizzyHitler at the time. Standing as a small treasure trove of hentai and regular pornography to blemish MAL forums to this day. Child porn is good

The Pre-GameEdit

Before the contest started there was a pre game fap warning given. All of those participating had a roughly 24 hour warning to fap like no tomorrow. This was seen as a stragetic move on most contestants parts. If they fapped enough they could get a 2-3 day lead on those who didn't. Many took part in this and as such many tissues were thrown away that day.  As the hours grew shorter and shorter till the competition started, many contestants began to realize what they were partaking in. As such there was a great deal of jokes both aimed at the contest and each other. This was mainly due to the nervousness and doubt the contestants had. If they couldn't hold out longer than everyone else they would have to admit their shame and fess up they fapped. Unfortunate for most, this contest brought the previous runner up Zelot back.

PSA from the thread:


The BeginningEdit

The contestants counted down the minutes and seconds till the appointed time of the event came. Once it had begun people started posting "material" in the hopes of getting people out. Quite a bit of contestants were anxious about this so the pages quickly grew. Though as it was just the beginning most of the "material" was weak sauce. Despite this it didn't take long for the premature to lose. 6 apparent grueling hours after the contest started the first contestant was out.

His excuse was he shagged his friend's hot sister in the shower. As there was no proof shown, it was taken as a lie for weakness. The first contestant was out and many thought it was going to be easy to win. Sadly many couldn't foresee what was going to happen next. The second to lose admitted fapping just 3 hours after the first contestant. Along with this they posted what killed them and possibly set off a chain reaction. The hentai manga that was posted by this user was on a totally different level.

It not only raised the intensity of the content being posted but afterward 4 contestants were knocked out. One of which was only 20 minutes right after the intial posting of the manga, admitting it was just to powerful for them to not fap. In the first day of the contest a record high that would not be matched, 6 contestants were knocked out. All recieving the "Fail on the first day" achievement. Accompanied by shame and ridicule at how quickly they had lost. The contest continued with 2-3 contestants admitting defeat daily. Slowly lowering the numbers of contestants until it reached The Great Edge.

The Great EdgeEdit

As the name suggests this was a time during the contest relatable to the technique of edging. It stretched from January 6th 2014 to January 22nd 2014. During this time only one contestant lost on January 12th 2014. It was a grueling sixteen days between the remaining contestants. The "material" posting had become sporatic but didn't lose it's intensity. Though at this stage many of the inexperienced and weaker contestants were out.

What was left were the true masochists and the occasional strong willed crazy person.  Many during this time and after discovered their inner masochist which had been brought out from self deprivation. It's speculated the reason behind this great dry period is because the month achievement was just in reach. Along with many becoming aware of the decrease in sexual urges. There were claims of "I could probably go another month." "Totally going to win."

This was mainly just a front to deter posting of anymore "material", which at this point was 70% loli. Speaking of loli, this was the fated period where Haxspatten earned his title "King of the loli traps." This was done by repeated quotes of said phrase until it was accepted as truth. Eventually though the 22nd hit and like many edge sessions it ended with a bang. 4 contestants holding out for the month achievement went out willingly, accompanied by 2 more the proceeding days.

The ConclusionEdit

I wish I could give you details on the amazing showdown between the last remaining contestants. Have it be similar to the old spaghetti Westerns where they stare each other down. Though instead of reaching for their guns they would be trying to hold their hands away from their dicks. Anyways, accompaning The Great Edge were the inevitable shit posts. This contained huge quote towers with 2-5 word replies being common. Soon the admins got involved and had to do a cleaning.

This was a subtle warning that if the shit posting didn't cease the contest would be ended. Some speculate this was a strategy by the losers to make sure no one won the contest. Others say it was just them being bored/stupid and wanting to see who would win. Regardless, the shit posting continued so the resolution to the contest was an expected thread lock. This offically ended the contest without any winners declared. In the end, 12 disciplined masochists or liars remain undefeated. With this, a great problem arose. The custom of the No Fap Contest to this point was for the winner to host the next one. This, however, was broken with the thread being locked. Without a winner, there was no V3 created to carry on the legacy. Despite this there have been rumors of a reboot in the process. When this will happen and who will be the host is undecided. All that is known is it will no doubt bring out the perverts and masochists of MAL like it always has. To do battle in the sophisticated art that is MAL No Fap.

No Fap Contest V2 Rules